Biblesimplifier

My name is Ben Nathe, though many people that knew the college (legend) version of me would call me the Benjo Man, so I go by both. I graduated from the University of Northwestern St. Paul in 2024 with a media productions degree (mostly used for all the media you see on here). When I use the terms "we" and "our" and "us" on here, that's somewhat misleading, because truth be told it's pretty much me. But, there are people in my life that I'm simply not here without, and beyond that there is some actual contribution by others (Dan Hellickson, Keith Claypool, Lain Kortemeier, and D'artagnan Johnson), so though it's mostly me, I use inclusive language. I grew up an only child with a single mother. She is absolutely incredible. I wasn't, and some would say still aren't easy to deal with at times (though I disagree and I'm CLEARLY RIGHT lol). I had issues growing up, mostly ADHD and a lack of focus, it led me to misbehave and get kicked out of schools (basically I had too much energy and they didn't want to deal with it). As I got older and matured (figured out medications), that problem went away. I always "believed" in God, but it was sort of like 2 plus 2 equaling 4 - I knew, but what's the point? What does that mean for me? Growing up I thought it meant Heaven was 80 years away as long as I still held to this easy belief - but as I've gotten closer to God, I've found that there's daily things in our lives that God wants and is willing to provide. He doesn't enjoy our hardships, and He also doesn't enjoy selfish living, so to think He doesn't care about either as long as we know what 2 plus 2 equals, is just crazy.

In terms of how we got here, to ministry, you would have to start from the bottom of that mountain. Like I said, I lived a normal life, believed and that was it. Then God reached me. I could feel it in my heart. This is what religious people mean when they say they are "born again" or "saved" - there's a clear difference and you can just feel that it comes from above. Nobody is eager to read about 2 plus 2 equaling 4, but as I felt God tugging on my heart I was more interested in reading the Bible and living out the Words - this clearly doesn't come from me, I didn't "find" God, I was FOUND BY God. So, at that point, life was really good. I was close to God, moved out for college and started playing baseball at school, leading a youth group at church which was going really well (I was really connecting with the students on a level that the older leaders couldn't, which is the main reason I was there). I also had a dating relationship going with another leader there (this is obviously a moment before disaster). So baseball, church, relationship, close to God, all of it. It was nice. Then I lost it all, in a month. Cut from the team, dumped, asked not to come back because I was "too young to lead" (despite the success). You name it, it happened. By the way, this was a couple months after I moved out for college - I had lived in the same house, with the same person (my mom) for my entire life, so it was already hard, and THEN all of this happened. Everything I knew for 18 years, and it was ALL gone in 1 month. I felt so lost and afraid. I was alone, and it felt like that included God.

Then I came to a realization - I'm at a Christian school, cut by their team, dumped by a Christian girl, dumped by a Christian church, and as I'm here on this Christian campus I'm only getting worse and worse. Was this Christianity? I was over it. I tried to hold on but I was just so lost, and every interaction just moved me farther and farther away from God, every judgmental Christian, everyone that was so much better, always facing rejection everywhere I went. It caused me to stop going. And I started going somewhere else. A place in my head and my heart where I knew the Devil would give me what I want. All the bitterness, porn, other addictions, everything. The Devil seemed more Christlike than all the Christians, but the truth was I was only making things worse by living how I lived, dead. Basically dead inside.

Eventually, unable to take it anymore, I decided to make "dead inside" a reality. I live in Minnesota and it was the middle of the winter (which is totally brutal around here), so I went out to a frozen lake and just waited. Waited to freeze to death. As time went on, it was pretty much impossible to survive. Even if I choose to turn around, it was just too late. So that's the bottom of the mountain, like I said.

But how did we get here? As I was dying on that lake, God put a verse in my mind - Acts 10:15: "Do not call anything impure that God has made clean." Now, I didn't know this verse, so clearly God had put it in my mind. After so much apathy and hatred towards God, after going so long without answer, I had that same feeling I described earlier in my heart - I KNEW that it was from God, and I knew what it meant (which was also God's doing). The meaning of the verse, in that moment, was this: even though I may see it as impure, being rejected and depressed and suicidal and lost, all the stuff that happened and that never stopped happening, even though I saw that stuff as impure, God saw clean. He had a plan, a purpose, and even though it felt like I was already in His plan with all those other things, it clearly wasn't meant to be. But God saw clean. Even though they didn't see a good baseball player, youth group leader, or man worth his existence, that's not what God saw. God saw clean. God didn't see all the mistakes I made. God saw clean.

God didn't see death that day either. As the verse said, God MADE clean. He made this climb to the top of this mountain happen. I walked home that day, which was a total miracle from the hand of God, especially considering that I was already out there for a long time and THEN the encounter happened (which was obviously time consuming as I wasted away in the subzero pile of snow on ice that I was sleeping in). But I walked home like it was 70 degrees. I could feel again. My heart could feel love for the first time since when God originally drew me close. All the other "love" I recieved was fake and it all faded away. But God IS love (1 John 4:8), and He never gave up on me.

The encounter changed my life, so I went home and made a little video to talk about it, shared it on my social media, because maybe there was someone else that needed the encouragement that God gave me that day through Acts 10:15. It was a little video, I had never really done this before. Then a few days later God gave me an idea for another video. And another one. And another one. As time went on, I realized this was a calling. This was God's way of making clean. I then felt called to start our instagram page, and then as time went on our YouTube, then our Facebook, then our podcast, then this website. 1 video. 1 last breath on that lake. And now, thousands of videos and posts and podcasts later, I can say that GOD MADE CLEAN, and He can do the same for you.

But why are we here? Well, the Devil did great work in my life through Christians. And he does the same today. At churches, through ministries, through the female gender (just kidding... maybe). So, at the very least, I'm here to be the voice for others that I never had. My goal is that if you're in my life, or if you're on here, you won't have to go to that lake, because I'll be here, and God will reach you through me. God reached me through GOD, if it were up to people I'd be gone. So I'm here to reverse that in the lives of others to the best of my ability. Worst case scenario, no one watches or reads or whatever, and at least I got to live and spend time on what I loved. But, best case scenario, it might just change your life. You never know... I never knew. But now I do. God makes clean. That's why I'm here. That's my story. What's yours?